12 Ways You Know You’re a Food Allergy Parent
1) You see someone reading labels in the store, and you suppress the urge to ask them what allergens they’re looking for.
2) You’ve demo’d how to use an epi-pen so often, you have a permanent tiny bruise in your upper thigh.
3) You can recite your kids allergies in your sleep in, like, four or five languages. Hay huevos en esto?
4) You know that baby wipes > hand sanitizer, because wipes take care of food particles and allergens, and hand sanitizer does not.
5) You take off your earrings, tie your hair back, and slam your cell phone shut (were flip phones still en vogue) to throw down any time someone talks smack about families with food allergies.
6) You’ve read enough ingredient lists to fill up Tolstoy’s War and Peace.
7) You feel serious solidarity with other food allergy parents. When you hear the words “well, my son is allergic to….” you suppress the urge to give them a chest bump, a slap on the butt, and an “US TOOOOO!”
8) You’ve jumped over a lawn chair and slapped a snack out of your friend’s hand super dramatically cause he was about to hand your peanut-allergic daughter a Dixie cup filled with Chex Mix. (OH, just me?)
9) When you find a friend committed to your kid’s safety and inclusion, you almost want to tattoo their name on your shoulder.
10) The taste of peanut butter is a distant and fond memory. *sheds solitary tear*
11) The amount of money you spend on your monthly grocery bills is dangerously close to your mortgage payment.
12) You do a little victory dance when you find a cool new allergen-free snack in your grocery store. There’s probably pelvic thrusting involved.*
*There’s definitely pelvic thrusting involved.
Add your own in the comments! :)